Well really! You come to check out what the good people of the Interweb have been up to and you’re confronted with this…
What cowardly and disgusting act could generate such outrage from our innocent Cakesniffer?
UNNATURAL FILTH
That nasty little LEZBO, Connie and the “companion” in her abhorrent and unnatural relationship have obviously grown tired of whatever it is those women get up to, and have turned their attentions on me. ME! Of all people!!!!
I am shocked and appalled.
What women like that need is the love of a man in a real relationship. Well, I say love, they need a man to look after and to tend their every need. That would keep their attentions diverted from such dizgussting and ungodly thinking.
I was going to spend this afternoon reading the latest installement in the Harry Potter series, but I’m afraid Harry will have to wait. I need to consult Frankly feminine to see what they’d recommend when it comes to unwanted attention from “gays” (and that used to be such a nice word until they stole it from us!). Unfortunately, I don’t think that sort of person existed before Channel 4 TV, so I might have to improvise.
Right,
“Relationships”: pp185-224.
“Happy with life….” “Happy with people…”
Ok, I’m getting somewhere
The right approach… Be willing… Too “sensitive”… Expecting too much… Sentimentality… Men – people… Proceed with caution… Independence… Tact… Giving in… Women friends
BINGO!
“Women friends: Men are wonderful… but they don’t provide us with quite the same deep understanding as another woman. You can work off a lot of steam on your own sex [blimey, how liberated!]. Women really enter into our problems, will listen by the hour (whereas men won’t at all). They stand up for and encourage us, minimise our misfortunes, offer us a helping hand [!] – and we don’t always have to try to look our best for them.
Sound, women’s friendships (the seeds of which must be sown in youth for deep attachments are more difficult to form later and need a background of shared experience) provide a great deal of happiness… and are one of the best insurances for later years.”
Fuck me, if I’m reading that right, it’s saying that, even if you’re in a relationship with a bloke, you can get steamy with women too and they’ll regularly wank you off. Better still, even if you’re straight, keep close to your female companions because you’ll probably turn queer later on in life anyway!
Well I never. I bought that book in all good faith, thinking it’d help be turn into a proper lady, but it seems even back then, those bloody women were everywhere, influencing young girls’ minds.
I might have to go and have a lie down.
Sniffy's Return 